False Advertisting

Dear Hush Puppies:

Please make more comfortable shoes.

Thank you in advance,

Wearer of these cute, but not nearly as comfortable as they should be, boots.

32 Flavors of Shoes: Tan ankle boots from UO

Yesterday I was obsessing on this really cute pair of boots. Miraculously sanity prevailed and I did not pull the trigger. Fate decided to reward me for my frugality, by dropping these boots on my head last night (NTS work on closet shelving). I got these on sale a while ago but never got around to wearing them until today. They are not leather so they have a stiffness about them. But they are cute and pretty comfortable and since they are ankle boots I do not have to deal with the potential crushing disappointment that the other pair wouldn't fit around my ample calves.

32 Flavors of Shoes: Ugg Lynnea Clog/Boot

I have longstanding obsession with black ankle boots. I have no idea how I am going to narrow my collection to anything even remotely reasonable. One pair that is guaranteed a spot - these Ugg clog boots.

I am NOT a clog person. I know people swear by them but I have never found a pair that works for me. But these are clog boots and I have never met a boot I couldn't love (with the notable exception of the open toe boot which I do not get at all). A few months ago I saw a picture of a pair of No. 6 clog boots and an obsession was born. Since I did not have the $ for the No. 6s I "settled" for these ones by Ugg.

My obsession was so deep I paid FULL PRICE which makes the second time I have ever done that (first time a pair of Hunter Rain Boots a few years ago when I thought I was Princess Diana and would have occasion to wander about soggy English moors).

My one gripe is that the sheepskin lining is not over the whole footbed. Must be some cost cutting measure by Ugg and I do not approve. Ugg should listen to me because it is 2010 and I am one of 6 people who stills wear Uggs!

Does this work?

I am so in love with this scarf which I snagged for $5 at one of the Amazon.com sales. But I don't know how to wear it or what to wear it with. Today I paired it with a textured acid yellow sweater and jeans. Thoughts?

Bargain!

I have been obsessing on this coat since I first saw it in the fall magazines. Sadly the price plus my size problems took it off the table.

BUT all is not lost. I found this cute replacement for $29! Also check out the GORGEOUS necklace my BFF got me for my birthday. Somehow she always manages to find things that I adore and yet are unlike things I already have. Genius.

Bad habits die hard

The one upside of dieting is shopping. I get to shop because I have to. Because I have 6 or more sizes to lose I can also get some great bargains since I know I'll fit into these items at some point.

So I spent the weekend with a $150 store credit at Amazon (my Bing cashback from the crazy Endless sales this summer) buying a ton of cute stuff. I looked for items with a 70%+ discount and scored some neat things. I will not fit into most of it for a few more months but it was a lot of fun.

Of course one binge triggers more and I have been sitting on my hands all day to avoid looking for more bargains.

One of my goals when I started stuff fast was to avoid the quantity over quality trap. And I still want to. But it is hard!

So as I wear through all my new purchases I am going to take note of what I like, what I hate, and what items I need to rebuy when I get to my final destination.

Preditability part 289107

I snagged this top on a clearance rack at Target a few weeks ago. My boobs have finally shrunk enough so I can wear it without the snaps popping open at inopportune times (although in the cold light of day I realize the shirt is still too snug).

Although me wearing a too tight shirt is nothing new - the predictability here is that I owned a nearly identical shirt in 1978 and wore it the same way. Does this mean my style has been the same since then or does it mean I am in a DEEP rut? Or both?

Miracle at Target

I achieved a miraculous feat the other day. I went to Target and walked out with ONE ITEM for less than $10.00.

The item - these Goody hair spin pins which actually work and are a nice break from my usual 1987 butterfly clips.

32 Flavors of Shoes: Indigo by Clarks Lace Up Ankle Boots

I have a "thing" for black ankle boots. At last count I had six pairs. My obsession can be traced back to a pair of Kenneth Cole ankle boots that I wore non-stop from 1996 until they finally wore out in 2000. They were absurdly comfortable and I could slip them on and off easily which is a big thing for me.

None of this explains why I bought these boots. But I did and I'm glad. They have a heel so they are not going to be as comfortable as flats but they are sturdy enough for me to walk in and cute albeit granny-like. They also zip up which means I can put them on easily. Will they make the cut? Who knows? But until my calves shrink enough for me to wear tall boots again - these will be worn a lot.

32 Flavors of Shoes: Calvin Klein Lexa Flats in sea green

I love Calvin Klein. So simple yet stylish. However, I just don't have the simple, classic, waif-ish look that seems to work best in his clothes.

Shoes, however, are another matter. Although I almost rejected these flats as not being as comfortable as I wanted - I am glad they made the cut. While not THE most comfortable flats I own (that honor belongs to my AK zebra striped flats) these are certainly fine (and would probably be excellent for anyone who does not have a freakishly high arch/instep like I do).

Enabling of obsession

As evidenced by this post and this one, I have been obsessed with animal print shoes for quite some time. Now that they are trendy again - there is so much temptation! To wit - these pumps which I snagged for $20 last week. Although I can barely walk in them (I have not worn heels is way too long) they are so cute! Especially when paired with a black pencil shirt and fitted black sweater.

Horizontal Stripes

I am completely obsessed with stripes at the moment.

As a fat girl I have been avoiding horizontal stripes for years. After all women's media has made it clear that horizontal stripes make you look fat. But here's the thing. I am fat. And although I am working on getting less fat I'm not there yet. Rather than waiting until the mythical day when I may be thin again, I've decided to embrace my stripe obsession.

Which brings me to today's outfit which is remarkable in a few ways:
1. the entire outfit (jeans/t-shirt/sweater) cost less than $10 brand new.
2. the jeans are two sizes smaller than I used to wear (and were $1.37).
3. the t-shirt is size L. No xxs in front. It is a bit snug (clearly) but I wanted to wear stripes today and I'm not seeing clients so I took a risk.

Confession

Work has been BANANAS lately and I have had not time to post (and frankly who wants to see me in the same black pantsuit every day).

Today I took a short break from the madness and went on a quick internet shoe spree. This is in addition to the blue boots I was seduced into buying by one of internet friends. Technically this does not break my ban since I had allotted myself some shopping in August for my birthday.

First up these lovely boots by Taryn Rose. I took a risk with these since the only other Taryn Rose shoes I own are super painful. But for $100 I decided to risk it. I hope my calves shrink enough for me to enjoy these as early in the fall as possible.

OMG I am so predictible!

Remember those cute Viviene Westwood boots I fell in love with yesterday?

Apparently I already owned a very similar looking pair of flats.


Wait there is more. Last week I took this photo of this GORGEOUS necklace a friend made for me.



The photo was a little blurry so this morning I took this one.



Notice anything? I have a shirt and cardigan in the same exact pattern.

Neither of these photos shows off the necklace to its full beauty. More on that later.

Cutest Rain Boots Ever?

I was just browsing (really) Zappos for some ankle boots to replace ones I wore out years ago and I found these. Are they not the cutest boots ever?

On Stuff

In a odd bit of synchronicity this weekend, this article was published at the same time I unearthed a rather embarrassing number of Space Bags full of clothing that I had hid from myself.

On the one hand this discovery was awesome because I now have a lot more things to wear if/when I get smaller. On the other hand this discovery makes me question just how much progress I have really made in my quest to reduce my stuff.

In an effort to learn something from my angst I am doing something I have never done before ..... I am documenting my wardrobe. Progress has been slow (I clearly have no future as an historian or archivist) but I have learned a few things such as:

• If our future economy is based on black button down shirts and black sweaters - I will be RICH!
• I have worn a LOT of sizes in the last five years.
• I probably need to face the fact that I can no longer wear mini-skirts.

More to follow!

Green Bags Anonymous

Do they have a 12 step program for buyers of green bags? Because I need one. Exhibit A: My latest acquisition - Rebecca Minkoff MAM in olive.

Catching up

Hello all. It has been a busy couple of weeks. I went to Vegas for a few days (AMAZING) and came back to a ridiculous work load. This past weekend was donation day. We did some serious cleaning of the garage and donated a lot of stuff - including 5 bags of clothing from yours truly.

Unfortunately not everything was eligible for donation so I still need to get rid of some stuff. Maybe this is the year that I will find the dump in my town (I've lived here almost 30 years and I still cannot find the damn place).

In other news my ban is on a temporary hiatus while I deal with the side effects of dieting. Don't fear I have not returned to my old habits, but I will need to buy some things when I start to get smaller. Sadly all my old clothing fits but I suspect in a few months it will not. Since I don't want to spend a lot of money on clothing I will wear for a few months - I shopping sales when I find them. This weekend I scored some $10 jeans so I bought 3 different sizes for the future.

I am also making plans for a RADICAL shift in wardrobe reduction. I am jumping on the trend of making do with less and planning a perfect very edited wardrobe for when I am done dieting. I don't think I can go as low as 6 pieces but I want to try 15-20. Radical and kind of exciting.

In the meantime I am still editing my shoes and bags and wearing what I have.

Wear it: July 14, 2010

Today's outfit is pretty much baggy jeans and coffee stained top. I am, however, wearing this cute ring that I got on clearance for $6!

I am not a ring person at all. I don't even wear my wedding ring (confession: it is too small but even when I was thin I didn't wear it often). Nonetheless, this ring spoke to me and I'm glad I made the purchase. Even if I don't wear it all the time - I think the $6 price tag will lead to a "pennies per wear" result.

Wear it: July 12, 2010

I am so happy this shirt survived the great purge of 2010. I should have donated it because it was too tight a few months ago. For some reason I didn't, and now, it fits. Happy day.

Less happy was my decision to pair the shirt with grey jeans and black sandals (trust me it looks BAD). But from the waist up I look cute. And I'll take it.

32 Flavors of Shoes: Franco Sarto Orange Slingbacks

My BFF alerted me to these shoes when she bought them on super sale a few years ago. Like the lemming I am, I also purchased them because, hello, orange! sale! cute!

Soon thereafter, I broke my ankle and had to swear off heels. After my ankle heeled, either the weather or lack of pedicure kept me away from these guys.

This morning, however, the fates aligned and I am wearing them for the first time. Yay!

Ooops I did it again, wadrobe malfunction 832901

For no good reason I have a very large collection of gauzey black "shirts." Some of these were advertised as beach cover-ups, but, since I have not been to the beach since 2003, I wear them as tops.

This morning because:
A) It is 95 degrees out
B) I had been up since 5am
C) I am an idiot
D) all of the above

I grabbed one of these shirts and ran out the door. What I failed to observe was the fact that it is cut in such a way that there is a purposeful gap down the front. Super cute if you have a tank or bathing suit underneath. Not so cute when you are exposing rolls of fat, a worn out bra, and stomach scars.

I am not a religious person but I ask you all to send some prayers/wishes that I do not have to meet any clients today.

Wear it: July 6, 2010

I have been having some wardrobe issues of late because I have decided (was bribed) to lose some weight. I promise not to unload too much of that drama on you but it will affect my fast. Because I was so efficient during my wardrobe purge I don't have a lot of clothing left from the old days. Since I have a lot of weight to lose I will need to be very selective in making the bare minimum of purchases until I get back to my old size.

One solution to my dilemma. Dresses. I haven't worn a lot of dresses since I got fat but luckily I had 2 or 3 in my closet that survived the purge. What I like about dresses is that a belt can make a too big dress fit (or look not so bad) where as my pants just look stupid when they are too big.

This black and white shirt dress is going to get a lot of wear this summer. Sure it is polyester and was bought at the fat girl section of J.C. Penny's for $15 but it fits, is dressy enough for "light" court days (not a trial but a status conference perhaps), and can be accessorized to look (I hope) like I am not wearing it all the time (which I will be).

The lure of the $12 shoes.

I snagged these shoes at 6pm.com for $12 (75% off). I just couldn't help myself. For a $12 shoe they are very comfortable and, I think, pretty cute. Clearly not an investment shoe but I think I will get a lot of use out of them this summer.

Are you there universe? It's me, matilda's stuff

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I have too much stuff. Although I have been working hard on paring down, I still have too much. Decluttering and simplifying is hard work and, frankly, that is not my thing.

Five minutes ago the phone rang. It was the Salvation Army in need of clothing and furniture. Okay aparently the Universe is calling me on my BS and challenging me to step up.

So this week I am going to donate 30% of my clothing and all the furniture in the garage that I keep meaning to sell on craigslist but never get to.




I feel lighter already.

32 Flavors of Shoes: No name brand gladiator sandals

I never got the gladiator sandal trend (I'm not a sandal person because I almost never have a decent pedicure) but when I saw these for $17 I decided to give them a try. It didn't hurt that these were made for fat girls so they fit my chubby ankles. These are clearly not long term investment shoes but I think they'll be fun to wear this summer and I can toss them without guilt when the season ends or they fall apart - whichever comes first.

32 Flavors of Shoes - Seychelles Flats in Olive

I love the Seychelles shoe brand. Cute, affordable, and very comfortable. Here's an example!

32 Flavors of Bags - Hayden Harnett Trophy Satchel in Yam Shine

I have no idea why I haven't used this bag before today. She is such a great size and so cute.

Product Endorsement of the Day

When I was on vacation last month (it feels like years ago!) I had a facial at an Elemis spa. Hands down (face down?) the best facial I have ever had. You could see the improvement immediately.

Although I resisted the urge to buy all the products then, I later succumbed to the 20% Bing cashback at Beauty.com and picked up the papaya enzyme mask. OMG this stuff is amazing. Use it once and your skin will feel like it did when you were 6. I have to resist using it everyday. It is pricey but it is worth every penny.

Try it and report back. You'll thank me - I promise.


Edit: Ok I just noticed the advert says this product is "Perfect for complexions which are sensitive or mature." Um yeah, the brits are such buzz kills. First they poison our gulf and now they call me old and sensitive! Seriously though if you are 30+ and want to brighten/smooth your skin - this is the stuff.

New Rule - Day Specific Songs

New Rule - radio stations cannot play "Friday I'm in Love" by The Cure on a MONDAY. Sleepy coffee deprived people like me will then think it is Friday and will have a very rude awaking when they get into the office.

32 Flavors of Bags - Rebecca Minkoff Easy Rider Cross Body

At the office on a beautiful Saturday, windows open, blasting Pandora (as much as one can with inadequate computer speakers), brushing up on the law (anyone know if Negligence Per Se is recognized in Connecticut), and enjoying my lovely bag.

It's 1985 Do You Know Where Your Shoes Are?

New Year's Eve 1984 I went on my first date with a very cute older boy. He picked me up in his beat up Toyota (he could drive!) and we went to see "Stop Making Sense" at what passed for the arty movie theater at the time (it showed Rocky Horror at midnight!). Afterward we went to his friend's house and sat around watching MTV and talking. At midnight, a very brief kiss.

Earlier in the day my mom bought me a new shirt - button down with electric blue and black vertical stripes which I paired with my black jeans that zipped at the ankle and my white high tops.

Unfortunately this date was the gateway to almost two years of an obsessive mostly unrequited crush on the boy (and a few very bizarre dates) but this first date was magic.

Why am I boring you with tales of my past? Because today I am wearing these fabulous Diego di Lucca flats in the same electric blue as my shirt on that fateful date. I know I have complained about ruffles on flats before, but on these shoes the ruffles work. These shoes were also "free" thanks to a Lucky Magazine cash back card. Doesn't get much better than that does it?

Another reason why I am an anti-social introvert

According to some management consultant I worked with eons ago, I am destined for some sort of breakdown in the future because my personality thrives on conflicting needs. The need to move things along quickly along with the need to think things through; the need for social approval along with a need to be in charge; the need for a great tasting beer that is also less filling .... you get the picture.

This morning I was walking into my office building with a someone who works for a different company on another floor. She issued the opening salvo - remarking on the extreme temperature drop between the outside and the air conditioned lobby. Feeling on the spot to make small talk, I remarked how the air conditioning does not make its way up to my office and thanks to the position of my office I spend my afternoons broiling in the sun (seriously it is often 80 or 90 degrees in my office). Instead of letting it go - she responded with "think of the people in Afghanistan, it is 130 degrees there."

Seriously, WTF? Do I look like someone who is not aware that people in Afghanistan are fucked every way possible? I know that my life is better than 90% of the world's population - but I don't need to be reminded of that all the time. Or do I?

32 Flavors of Shoes: Yellow Patent Mary Janes

Are these not the most awesome shoes ever? I didn't get to wear them at all last year because of my broken ankle. Today however I needed some extra height (pants are too long) so I dug them out and have been happy ever since. Although these shoes were super cheap they are very comfortable - which is more than I could have asked for. Please ignore my crypt keeper feet - I am beyond overdue for a pedicure.

32 Flavors of Bags - Treesje Revealed Satchel in White

Another contender for the perfect white/cream bag. Although this is has gold hardware (not my favorite) I love the way it pops against the white. How am I ever going to decide?

Wear it June 14, 2010

Extremely dull outfit today, brightened only by this vintage necklace. Excuse the fat neck, it was a heavy cake weekend.

32 Flavors of Bags - Hayden Harnett Lido in black patent

I adore this bag but I can never decide if it is a day or night bag so it often gets neglected in favor of more clearly defined bags. Today, however, I bravely cast aside my doubts and brought her to work so I can bask in the cuteness that is this bag.

Cheap accessories

I went on a cuff bender a few months ago (damn you tPF!) much to the dismay of my wallet. I have pared things down considerably but I hung on to a bunch of cheap thrills - such as this cutie which I snagged for $4.99. It's clearly not real leather but it is cute and different and, perhaps best of all, fits my chubby wrist.

Wear it June 9, 2010

After yesterday's wardrobe malfunction, I played it safe today by 1) ensuring the opacity of my t-shirt and 2) wearing a cardigan just in case. I really like this cardigan although, because of its bold pattern, I don't wear it a lot.

Wear it June 6, 2010

Expecting a casual day (boss is out of the office), I sauntered into the office in rolled up jeans and this shirt. Sadly I overestimated the opacity of the shirt and realized too late that you can pretty much see through it - revealing the four small dark scars on my torso and an under-insulated bra (IYKWIM). Thankfully one of our paralegals took home the jacket I had balled into a corner of my office and managed to press out the wrinkles and get off most of the dust and cat hair, so I can cover up this mess when I go to an unexpected hearing at court this afternoon.

Can I just say how happy I am that court recordings are audio only. If they took video of our arguments I would probably need to find a new career.

32 Flavors of Shoes - Frye flats in gold

I went through a "Frye" phase with boots and then snagged these shoes on super clearance a few years ago. They are super comfortable and great to wear on days when my lack of pedicure makes sandals an impossibility. I'm just not sure if they are neutral enough for the long term.

32 Flavors of Bags - Hayden Harnett Biblio in Olive

I ordered this bag eons ago to use up some credits/coupons I had but it was only delivered last week. Although I have a lot of green bags (see below), this one is different enough in color and look that it deserves a spot in the top 32. The leather is deliciously soft, the size is perfect, and the look is fun while sophisticated (or so I tell myself). I may end up removing the "bling" (tassel and paddle) because they add weight and businesses that is a bit much. But for now I'm going all in.

Wear it June 3, 2010

I branched out of my rut today by pairing this fun plaid! top with jeans and this really handy blue sweater (from Target of all places). I thought I was making a cool statement by pairing it with these shoes but I'm afraid I may just seem color blind. I have no idea why my left boob seems ginormously out of proportion in this photo. Must be my horrendous posture. Also - can you see how hungry I am in this picture? If not there is something wrong with my camera.

Wear it June 1, 2010

I have officially run out of creativity when it comes to getting dressed. Expect to see this outfit (black pantsuit and tank) with different necklaces until such time as this creative block passes.

32 Flavors of Bags - Calvin Klein Ribbon Satchel

A few months ago I saw a gorgeous woman walking down the street carrying a beautiful cream colored bag. This sighting triggered the "great cream bag hunt of 2009/2010"). As you know, I had had high hopes for the Rebecca Minkoff Stone/Jade steady but it didn't work out. Like wise an Oyster colored "tharpe" bag from Hayden Harnett. The latest contender (and possible winner) is this bag from Calvin Klein. I don't care for the rough texture of the leather (or the plain lining) but I like the retroish styling, stitching, size and silver hardware. It is, as they say, a contender.

Wear it May 26, 2010

It is a million degrees out and the air conditioning in my office has been broken since Monday. Good thing I found this lovely gauze shirt in my closet this morning. I'm wearing it open over a lime green tank (unfortunately the outfit took a turn for the worse when I decided to wear olive cargo pants but hey most people only see me from the waist up*).

This shirt holds the distinction of being the ONLY item of clothing in the past five years that my husband has mentioned liking. I should probably wear it more often.


* because I am seated at my desk all day not because I am legless or anything.

The most practical shoes in the world

Well not really but these shoes are a lifesaver on days when I let my color blind inner child dress me in the morning.

I Love Target

How great is this quilt? When I tire of it I think I'll make a long skirt from it - just like my mom wore in the '70s.

Wear it May 20, 2010

One of these days I should learn how to check the weather before I get dressed in the morning. I was clearly not thinking it would be a hot sunny day when I pulled out this sweater this morning. I have inexplicably paired it with may favorite dark green cargos and this pink! scarf. Add my white patent Chuck Taylors, and a bra full of chocolate sprinkles (long story), and you get the world's most random outfit.

Wear It May 19, 2010

It may not look like much hanging on my office door, but this black cardigan is the black cardigan to end all black cardigans. It can take on any other sweater in my closet and beat it to threads with one sleeve tied behind its back. Even my gorgeous cashmere hoodies cower when faced with the awesome power of this sweater. Sadly the season for wool cardigans is drawing to a close but come fall I will reunite with her and we will conquer the universe. You have been warned.

Remove the cash, carry the cash

New wallet today. I picked up this pretty Coach wallet at the outlets last year. I found the combination of kelly green patent with a sky blue interior impossible to resist (I tried, really I did). So far I'm quite pleased with it. There is plenty of room for things and the zip closure is very helpful. My previous wallet (Hayden Harnett Emile indexer wallet) was a more practical size but harder to keep organized.

Before and After bathroom edition

Today's project, to reorganize my bathroom drawer. The key was using shoe boxes as dividers and putting like things with like. Kinda of obvious but it took me two years to figure it out. Now that I know where things are I can start weeding out the 157902 lipsticks I never wear and settle on maybe one or two lotions and not 37.

Before:

and After:

32 Flavors of Shoes Campers Peep Toe Flats

Back from vacation. Wore my Campers peep toe flats all week. Can you believe I got these as an accident (I ordered another pair and they sent these instead)?