Sloppy Lady

After spending way too much time prying myself out of yesterday's outfit - I played it safe today with some slightly loose cords and a billowy top. Not exactly fashion forward but nice and comfortable for a 15 hour workday.

Does Anyone Have a Crowbar?

Once again I followed the advice of Lucky Magazine and ended up someplace I shouldn't have gone to - pants without Lycra. According to Lucky, pants with Lycra tend to emphasize your bulges whereas slim cut pants without stretch are less likely to make you look like sausage in too tight casing.

What they failed to mention is once you get the pants on - you cannot get them off. So you may be seeing these pants all week unless I magically drop a few pounds or find a crowbar.

Pants: Gap 1969

Top: Boden

Sweater: Target

Boots: Timberland

Priorities

I literally have 15 minutes before all hell breaks lose at work today and I spent 5 of those minutes photographing my outfit and writing this post. Clearly priorities are not my strong suit.

Sweater: Madewell

Jeans: Old Navy

Boots: Uggs

Necklace: ? via Piperlime

New Stuff - Part One of .....

The next few weeks promise to be excruciatingly difficult at work which has triggered my "buy ALL THE THINGS" reflex.   This of course starts a vicious cycle of needing to return most of the things which adds extra errands to my already crazy day.  Today's keeper items are this silk blouse from the Madewell sale and this bracelet.  Although I love bracelets in concept, I rarely wear them because I don't like to have my wrists restrained (ever notice how my sleeves are rolled up in 75% of my outfits?).  However, I made an exception for this one because, OMG, cute! Right?

Waiter There Is a Fly In My Soup

I find it very hard to wear a black suit/white shirt without feeling like a waiter at TGIFridays.  To offset the stuffiness I threw on a belt, as many silver necklaces as I could find, and my beloved comfortable blue shoes.  What do you think, did I succeed or should I be offering you some fresh ground pepper with this post?

Suit: Banana Republic
Short: Bass
Belt: ? via Goodwill
Shoes: Jessica Simpson via TJ Maxx

Wrinkled Lady

In my mind this outfit is super sleek and ladylike.  Unfortunately, my iPhone could not take a picture of my vision and took a picture of this frumpy wrinkled outfit instead.  Also, is it just me or does it look like I have some strange growth on my left shin?  


Shirt: J. Crew via Goodwill
Sweater and cuff: J. Crew via recent sale
Skirt: United Colors of Benetton via eBay
Shoes: Max Studio via TJ Maxx

Happiness Is a Warm Pair of Pants

I got these pants at the super sale at J. Crew and I LOVE them.  Although plaid capris are not my usual "look" these are so awesome I made an exception and I'm glad I did.  


Pants: J. Crew
Sweater: Gap (men's)
Jacket: Old Navy
Shoes: Franco Sarto (ancient)

Baxter Needs Thumbs

This is probably my last attempt at using my tree as a background. I'm too lazy to figure out a better resting place for the camera and, as you can see, Baxter would rather just stare at me than act as my photographer (he claims it is lack of thumbs but I think he just doesn't want to support my bad habits).

Jeans: Levis

Shirt: Old Navy

Sweater: Ancient Banana Republic

Boots: HK Heidi Klum

The Lazy Bird Gets Dressed

This morning I had a productive spurt of energy in which I finally packed up some items I needed to return. As I was gathering things, I found a bag on the back of my door containing two shirts I planned to return to Target a few months ago. Since the return period has expired, I had no choice but to put one on and make the best of it.

I will not bore you with my struggles to get a decent photo this morning, but I did try. I failed but I really did try.

Shirt, Sweater, Shoes: Target

Cords: J. Crew via Goodwill

Hail Mary

It may not look like much, but considering that I almost had to stay home from work for lack of something to wear, this outfit is a win in my book. I started the day wanting to wear a new pair of pants, but I soon concluded that the pants were not flattering. I moved on to a shirt which was cute but would require me to sit up straight and not eat all day. Rinse, lather, repeat until I threw this on and decided it was acceptable.

Shirt: Akiko

Cardigan: J. Crew

Jeans: Levis

Boots: Gap

Belly: last night's apple tart and 5lbs of popcorn

Regrets

I knew within two minutes of putting on these shoes that I would regret choosing them. What I didn't know is that I'd regret the whole outfit once I got to work. Oh well dress and learn.

Dress: Boden

Jacket: Old Navy

Shoes: RJ Girl

Day of Rest

Although exercise remains an anathema to me, a few months ago I started learning how to run in an effort to have an activity that gets my brain off of work. One of the best things about running - the day of rest. Since I run on the weekends - Monday is my rest day. Today is extra restful because I do not have to be in court. Maybe I can take it one step further today and leave work before 7pm.

Shirt: J. Crew via Goodwill

Sweater: J. Crew Factory

Jeans: Old Navy

Belt: on my bed at home where it is being quite ineffectual at holding up my pants.

Gorgeous Gal

There are some inconveniences that stem from working across the street from a mental health treatment facility. At least once a week the police are called to handle some disturbance and it can get very noisy. On the other hand, many of the residents are quite sweet - including the gentleman this morning who called me a gorgeous gal.

Considering I was feeling anything but gorgeous at the time, it was a nice way to start the morning.

Dress/cardigan - Missoni for Target

Boots - DV for Target

Coat - ? from Bloomingdales a million years ago

These Are Not the Pants You Are Looking For

Well, they are not the pants I was looking for. I really wanted camel colored wool pants. These are more tan and not wool. I thought I could make them work but my attempts so far have failed - see today's outfit and Plaintiff's exhibit 1. And don't ask why I chose this scarf, because I don't know.

Pants and Sweater: Gap

Scarf: Jessica Simpson

Maybe I shouldn't have changed out of this morning's other outfit....

Documentary

I spent WAY too much brain space today debating whether or not to use a photo that shows me wearing the jacket that goes with this suit or not*. The photo without the jacket, shows the very cute blouse and is, therefore, 100% more interesting. The photo with the jacket is less interesting but is actually what I am wearing. Which lead me to wonder whether my compulsion to treat this blog as a documentary of my wardrobe, is interfering with my creative expression (and making a boring blog even more boring). So I decided to throw caution to the wind and use the photo without the jacket. But, don't worry, I will still use this space to document the mundane, and often ugly, aspects of my life - such as the fact that I know all the lyrics to "Lost in Love" by Air Supply and played the song very loudly in my car this morning.

The truth can be ugly folks.

I wonder if Michael Moore has these problems.

* I know I could have posted both, but then I wouldn't have had anything to write about.

Why I Could Never Live in Seattle

One word: Rain. I know rain is necessary to make the plants grow and what not, but it is so frigging inconvenient. It kept me from being able to go running this morning (I know it is possible to run in the rain but my motivation is not that strong), it made the house dark resulting in this crappy photo, and it killed my dog. Okay, I don't have a dog but I still don't like rain.

Skirt, Sweater, and Necklace: J. Crew

Shoes: Biviel

Sweatsuit

I have been quite remiss in extolling the virtues of this suit, prior to now. The suit is made from a thick cotton knit and has an elastic waistband - thus it is essentially a grown-up sweatsuit - perfect for a foggy Monday after a weekend in which you ate your body weight in cake.

Suit: ? via J.C. Penny

Shirt: Gap

Shoes: Me Too

Necklace: $1 bin at consignment store

Delusions

Although she is only 7 days older than me, I often think of my BFF, A, as the older sister I never had. If you get really drunk and stand in a dark room and squint you might even think we are related. Although our physical resemblance is sadly limited to the fact that we are roughly the same size and have dark hair, I often ignore this fact. So when A and I made the realization a few years back that she was an Autumn and not a Winter as we had assumed, I decided that I should be one too.

Now the fact of the matter is that A is classically gorgeous with lovely fair skin that really does look lovely in camels and autumnal hues. Whereas my dark olive skin tends to blend poorly with the same colors. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to look like her and choosing clothing that looks way better on her than on me. Such as this sweater.

Sweater: J. Crew (gift from friends)

Jeans: Citizens for Humanity via Goodwill

Boots: Frye

Scarf: ? gift from my dad's former girlfriend

matilda the plumber

If you ever wondered whether my various wardrobe malfunctions were limited to my work wardrobe, this morning's adventure showed that they are not.

Act One: 7am a sleepy matilda decides that she should go for a jog before work. She puts on her sweatpants and a fleece and heads out the door. The sweatpants feel a little loose, an important fact that matilda ignores.

Act Two: matilda begins her jog/waddle around the neighborhood feeling smugly superior to the people she passes because she is exercising! The sweatpants continue feel loose, which matilda reasons is proof she is burning ALL THE CALORIES.

Act Three: at the end of the jog/waddle, matilda reaches to pull up her pants only to realize that as they slipped down, so had her underwear - exposing the top of her ass to the world at large.

Act Four: matilda plays it safe by wearing a simple dress to work.

Dress: J. Crew

Boots: Clarks

Wonder Woman Mug: gift from BFF