My dry cleaner is gaslighting me

I am pretty sure my dry cleaner is trying to gaslight me by shortening all my skirts and dresses so it appears I am getting taller.  I swear this used to be a fairly age appropriate, conservative (for me) dress.  Now it looks like a Julia Roberts Pretty Woman reject.  

Dress and Sweater:  J. Crew
Boots:  Indigo by Clarks

Distractions

The only good thing about this photo is that you are so distracted by my strange pose, you don't really see my knee scars.  

Blazer: J. C. Penny
Dress: Vfish
Boots: Clarks

Happy Holidays

I ran out of band-aids this morning and my vanity would not allow me to show you the bruised, scabby mess of flesh formerly known as my knees.  

In happier news, it is Christmas Eve and I am taking tomorrow and the following day off from work.  This is a big improvement over last year when I spent all of the holidays preparing for a trial.  

Top:  Sweet Pea
Cardigan: J. Crew
Skirt: Forever 21
Boots: Clarks

Repeats

I've worn this sweater/dress combination before and considered mixing it up by wearing another sweater. But, the fact is I like this combination so I took a chance on boring you all by repeating myself. Besides, who am I to question Missoni?

Sweater/Dress: Missoni for Target

Tights: Spanx

Boots: Clarks

matilda the plumber

If you ever wondered whether my various wardrobe malfunctions were limited to my work wardrobe, this morning's adventure showed that they are not.

Act One: 7am a sleepy matilda decides that she should go for a jog before work. She puts on her sweatpants and a fleece and heads out the door. The sweatpants feel a little loose, an important fact that matilda ignores.

Act Two: matilda begins her jog/waddle around the neighborhood feeling smugly superior to the people she passes because she is exercising! The sweatpants continue feel loose, which matilda reasons is proof she is burning ALL THE CALORIES.

Act Three: at the end of the jog/waddle, matilda reaches to pull up her pants only to realize that as they slipped down, so had her underwear - exposing the top of her ass to the world at large.

Act Four: matilda plays it safe by wearing a simple dress to work.

Dress: J. Crew

Boots: Clarks

Wonder Woman Mug: gift from BFF

Alexis in the Winter

Although you cannot tell in this photo, I did take the shoulder pads out of this dress in an attempt to tone down the Dynasty vibe a little. Then I added a velvet coat and ended up back where I started. Oh well.

Dress: ? via Goodwill
Coat: ? circa 1999 Bloomingdales
Boots: Clarks
Belt: ?

Easy Power Dressing

After Saturday's color explosion, I played it safe for court this morning. I bought this dress on sale at Banana Republic and I love how easy it is. Just toss on a blazer and I'm done. The boots are a little bit edgy for court but with any luck I'll be sitting down most of the day.

Dress and Blazer: Banana Republic
Boots: Clarks
Necklace: Urban Outfitters

Pocket Full of Happy

Is there anything better than a dress with pockets? Probably, but that doesn't lessen the awesomeness of this dress.

Dress: French Connection
Blazer: JC Penny
Tights: Spanx
Boots: Clarks
Necklace: Mom's

Easy

After yesterday's tragic wardrobe struggle, getting dressed this morning was a breeze. Because I was not limited to separates (no doctor's visits today!) I was able to throw on this adorable dress, some boots* and was done. I even had time to throw on a necklace.

* I should have take the time to put on socks under the boots, a situation I may need to rectify later.

Dress: Nine West via TJ Maxx
Boots: Clarks
Necklace: ? via eBay

Getting My '70s On

Channeling Kelly Garrett today with a knit plaid skirt, black pull on boots and a black v-neck sweater. All that is missing is feathered hair and an orange Pinto*.

Sweater: Banana Republic (old)
Skirt: St. John via Goodwill
Boots: Clarks
Necklace: ? via Piperlime


* I am acutely aware that Sabrina drove the Pinto on the show and Kelly was stuck in that awful Mustang. But this is my fantasy life and I want the orange Pinto.